Hope and Family

Hope and Family 

For 7 years this October, Jon and I have been a beautiful family of two. I could not have asked for a better husband, best friend, partner, and love of my life.  We have also been surrounded by family. When I say family, I mean not just our blood family, but also our friends who have been there. We've been through ups and downs in this long process of infertility, grieving, and now our embryo adoption. Jon and I have been pillars of strength for each other when the other lost hope, got frustrated, or needed a reminder of our dream.  We've had pillars of strength from our family and friends through a hug, prayers, a listening ear, encouragement and a good kick in the pants. You all who have been cheering us on each step of the way have taken our hand and are a part of the reason our family will continue to grow.

The last time we updated all of you we were in the midst of choosing from 200 donor/genetic families to 11 and then waiting to hear back from the National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) in Tennessee. We did hear back from NEDC in an e-mail and we were told from the 11 that we sent, only 7 were still available. We decided to take some time to read over the extended profiles and pray about which families we would work with and the embryos that we would adopt from them. 

The same week we got this e-mail, something unexpected happened that can only be explained through God's guiding hand.  I (Andrea) am a part of an embryo adoption support group on Facebook. On there, people who are going through the process share their experiences, highs, lows, ask questions and encourage each other. One day, I got a private message from a woman who was also a part of this group. She asked if we had chosen our embryos yet and that her and her husband were looking for a family to donate/adopt their embryos to. She said she was drawn to us because we live in Minnesota, where her embryos are, and also Jon has characteristics similar to her husband.  I was taken aback because this is something that had never happened before.  Over the next week we took the time to message many questions getting to know each other.  Through these questions and conversations we came to see that our hopes, dreams, and goals in this process matched!  We decided to see what it would take to try to do the process here in Minnesota instead of through NEDC.  Through many phone calls to fertility clinics, the place where the embryos are frozen, family attorneys, we found the costs were adding up and that the process would be more complicated than we anticipated.  In order to get everything done, it would be another 3-6 months. 

Jon and I have come to know that this is the way infertility and adoption works.  You have a mountain high moment of hope and excitement and then another hurdle to jump through in order to get there. The amazing part of this process is that through this new found relationship with the woman who contacted us, they understood and could emphasize with our process. I told her I wanted to try to talk to a few more people to see if I could find a better way.  I contacted NEDC and told them what had happened and asked how it would be different if the family donated their embryos to us through them.  I came to find out that NEDC does not charge the donor family at all.  They would have the embryos shipped to NEDC in TN.  Then I asked her about the timeline and how long we would have to wait.  She said if everyone is getting what they need to done, then it should take only 4 to 6 weeks! She said she will try to put a rush on everything so that Jon and I can even have a chance to make it for their November transfers! That being said, I spoke with the donor/adoptive family about this and they agreed that this is what they would like to go through as well!! So we are matched!!

The funny part is that the embryos are in Minnesota, but they will be shipped to TN because it turned out to be the easiest, most affordable, and most reliable route. Another thing to note is that NEDC likes their adoptive couples to adopt at least 5 to 6 embryos to ensure the best chance of pregnancy.  The family we are working with now has 3 embryos, so because of this we are choosing another family to adopt from that has 3 embryos as well. This does not mean that all will be transferred at once.  There are so many unknowns in this process and choices that have to be made because of those unknowns.  Some of the factors to consider are the quality of embryos, what happens when the embryos unthaw, and if we do not achieve pregnancy on the first attempt. If you have further questions about how this whole process works, I would love to chat with you as it is a fairly new process to many.

That being said, WE ARE SO EXCITED to be matched!  We still need your many prayers in this because we cannot control how this will turn out, but we can have faith that God has brought us to this and that God will provide us with a beautiful baby(babies) in His timing and His will. Please also pray for our donor families and the open relationship we will have with them.

There are still costs attached to this process and Jon and I are trying to brainstorm another fundraiser that we could do.  We've talked about a possible garage sale or another silent auction if there was enough of an interest.  If anyone has suggestions for possible ways for us to raise money, feel free to contact us.  As always we have our Go Fund me site for donations. God bless and have a wonderful day!


GoFund Me page:  https://www.gofundme.com/jonandrea2adopt